Ahead of her show Wednesday night (Nov. 24) at Los Angeles’ Hotel Cafe, Jessie J took to Instagram to open up about learning she lost her pregnancy this week.
In an intimate note captioning a photo of her holding a positive pregnancy test, the singer/songwriter revealed that doctors informed her Tuesday that there was no longer a heartbeat when she had her third scan. “I feel like I have no control of my emotions,” she wrote. “I may regret posting this. I may not. I actually don’t know.”
While she was originally worried about accidentally bringing up her pregnancy onstage at the concert, now she was worried about what she would tell fans after receiving the devastating news.
“What I do know is that I want to sing tonight,” she wrote. “Not because Im avoiding the grief or the process, but because I know singing tonight will help me. I have done 2 shows in 2 years and my soul needs it. Even more today. I know some people will be thinking she should just cancel it. But in this moment I have clarity on one thing. I started singing when I was young for joy, to fill my soul and self love therapy, that hasn’t ever changed and I have to process this my way.”
She decided instead of springing the news on the audience onstage, she would put her thoughts into writing. “I want to be honest and true and not hide what I’m feeling. I deserve that. I want to be as myself as I can be in this moment. Not just for the audience but for myself and my little baby that did it’s best. I know myself and I know I would talk about it on stage because that’s who I am. So instead of a tearful emotional speech trying to explain my energy. This feels safer.”
In the note, she also revealed that she had made the decision to “have a baby on my own. Because it’s all I’ve ever wanted and life is short. To get pregnant was a miracle in itself and an experience I will never forget and I know I will have again.”
Finally, even though “the sadness is overwhelming,” Jessie wrote that she wanted to go public with the news because she knows she’s not alone and that “millions of women all over the world have felt this pain and way worse. I feel connected to those of you I know and those of you I don’t. It’s the loneliest feeling in the world. So I will see you tonight LA. I may crack less jokes but my heart will be in the room.”
In addition to the photo of the pregnancy test, Jessie J also shared this quote from Seyda Noir: “Sometimes love won’t be enough to make it work, and that’s ok. It doesn’t mean that you’ve failed.”
After posting her initial message, Jessie J also thanked fans for their support in a separate Instagram Story. “Your overwhelming instant outpour of love is felt, received and appreciated beyond measure. And has got me out of bed this morning. Thank you.”
See Jessie’s post below:
