This Billboard China cover story has been translated to English.
Gloria Tang Sze-wing, professionally known as G.E.M. (Get Everybody Moving), experienced a period of solitude in August last year. The past two years have been something of a whirlwind. She seldom saw her family members, and her friends in Hong Kong were not around. Finding herself prone to bouts of melancholy and other negative emotions when faced with the sheer enormity of her surrounding environment, she developed the habit of praying.
“It was only after I started praying that I realized the depth of my depression and how I was not as strong as I thought,” G.E.M. tells Billboard China. “I pressed forward, choosing to ignore the things I was feeling and the pressure I was under. I swept it all under the rug and pretended that it didn’t exist. When I finally pulled up that rug, I had no choice but to confront everything behind my depression. I concluded that love is very important. I also realized that I’ve been loved.”
Before that, she often wondered about the meaning of her life. In “Loneliness,” a song she released two years ago, she wrote, “feeling lonely when getting a big hand under the spotlight, ’cause I fear falling behind under the moonlight/ ‘Don’t stop,’ urged by a voice/ But running on this endless track isn’t my choice.” She revealed that becoming a singer had been her goal in life ever since she was 15 or 16 years old. She longed to hold a concert in the Hong Kong Coliseum. As time went on, she gradually achieved all of her goals, but she increasingly felt that there had to be more. These so-called successes were empty achievements that contributed nothing to her life, in which she still struggled to find meaning.
“I asked myself an interesting question two years ago: If the meaning of my life was to use music to get everybody moving, would I simply cease to exist after retirement?” As she details her turmoil at that time, there is a smile on her face.
“I used to consider myself a singer whose sole responsibility was to entertain people and spread positive energy,” she says. “But what about after I bid farewell to the stage? What then? It seemed that my life would cease to have any value the moment I was no longer a singer. Nowadays, I’ve made some adjustments to what I consider important. I used to think that I was born for music. Now I think I was born for love, much like what is described in my lyrics. Should I one day stop being a singer and leave the stage, love will then be the guiding force in my life. I cooked a meal for my mother today, which was an act of love. This is where I find purpose in my life. Our lives have meaning when we do things with love.”
These thoughts are the inspiration behind her new album Revelation. During its creation, she wrote down the numerous questions she had about life. She received answers, and even enlightenment. “It was like a direct dialogue between me and heaven. I write letters to heaven, and they write back. This is what gradually gave shape to the concept behind Revelation.”
For an entire month, she debated whether to use the name Revelation. “Should I really name my album after the Book of Revelation?” In the end, she steeled herself and went ahead with Revelation as the album title, a project in which her true feelings are recorded.
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“Why bother becoming a singer if you don’t want to release albums?”
In the streaming era, where more and more singers focus on releasing individual singles, G.E.M. instead chose to devote half a year constructing a 14-song album. While many have called it a brave decision, it was all very natural for her. “I really didn’t realize that it took any courage at all,” she says. “Thinking back on it, I didn’t earn a penny for over six months. Meanwhile, I had plenty of expenses. Seeing the bills really made it hit home for me, and it was then that I realized perhaps it had been a gutsy move. But when I made this decision, it was merely out of a desire to channel every single bit of my time and energy to the creative process. It was all rather enthralling. I felt that I was ‘all in.’” She was champing at the bit, like a racehorse about to burst out of the gate.
“Why bother becoming a singer if you don’t want to release albums?” Since she was born in the era of records, G.E.M. claims she places a higher value on albums than singles. “Albums provide us with an opportunity to properly express ourselves through music. On the contrary, a single that lasts for only three to four minutes may have a catch melody, but is too short to carry any real weight.” For Revelation, an album inspired by love, she said she wanted to include 14 songs to fully express her feelings. “Love is such a multifaceted thing. But I had to stop at some point, or else I’d have enough for two albums, so I settled for 14 songs.”
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“It is my fantasy that has helped to create this latest album”
When “GLORIA,” the first song from Revelation, was released, many people noticed that G.E.M. had adopted a different singing style. She came up with this new method of singing when performing “Letters From Heaven,” the second half of the album.
“Usually, I do not consider my singing capability or my limits when I write songs, because I can revise them later if they are out of my reach.” But this time, she encountered unprecedented challenges.
When Gong, the album’s producer, asked which song they should start with on the first day of recording, G.E.M. said, “Let’s begin with ‘GLORIA.’ It’ll make for a good vocal warm-up.” She was brimming with confidence, as the track had been conceived in her home, with her humming the melody. The notes were primarily composed of falsettos, so it was bound to be a walk in the park.
However, when recording “GLORIA,” she found that the minimalist, hymn-like singing style was far more difficult than she had anticipated. Previously, she would utilize what’s known as “modal voice” to maintain the stability of her voice, but this practice was proving ineffective for this song, leaving her with a great sense of frustration. “I came to discover that many of the songs I’d written surpassed my current singing capability.” But as the old saying goes, misfortune can often be a blessing in disguise. These setbacks let her know that she could not take any of this lightly. Whereas previously she would launch straight into singing after arriving at the studio and simply go with what “felt right,” she now only records after she has fully warmed up. She also learned about the importance of proper preparation beforehand. So, for her, the recording itself has also become part of the creative process.
“People see a dramatic change in my singing style because it is my fantasy, not my voice alone, that has helped to create this latest album. I try to use my voice to bring life to what I envision in my mind. If I fail, I will find an alternative way to ensure that the images in my mind can be given shape, whereas in the past I would have simply given up.”
“Unconsciously, I projected some of my traumas onto the characters”
After finalizing the 14 tracks on the new album, she wanted the songs to stick in listeners’ minds for a long time, unlike most other content produced in the streaming era. She therefore came up with the idea of music videos with overarching plots – her music would more likely be heard if people watched her videos to follow the storylines.
But being a screenwriter was a role that she had never assumed before. She had already planned the order in which her songs would be released. “GLORIA” would be first, followed by a rock song, then an R&B song, and so on. When writing the overarching storylines, she felt she was composing something that came with pre-existing expectations and constraints, but after completing the screenplays, she felt a sense of satisfaction unlike anything she’d ever experienced before. She was ecstatic when she finally completed the script, a mystery with many interlocking parts, as she has never received any professional training as a screenwriter. “A magical force guided and inspired me during that entire process. Each episode seemed like an insurmountable challenge I had to overcome. At that time, I would pray, and soon I would be filled with new inspiration.” For her, these lyrics and ideas are like a gift from heaven.
During this process, she also unconsciously projected many of her own feelings and experiences onto the writing. “At first, I intended for Gloria to be a heroine of sorts, but after a while, I began to project a lot of my own personal feelings and experiences onto her. I wasn’t aware that the story was about me at the beginning, but when shooting the video, I suddenly realized that I had unconsciously projected some of my own traumas onto her. For example, Gloria can’t bear the kindness of others and she has an aversion to personal contact. Later I found out that we share the same personality. My inner-traumas and self-abasement make me reluctant to accept when others care for me. I’ll say something like ‘That’s enough. I’m OK. I’m fine.’ I didn’t notice this when I wrote the storyline. I only came to the realization that Gloria and I had so much in common when I performed in the videos.”
In this exploration of music and performance, G.E.M. ended up discovering hidden aspects of herself she had not known prior. The creative process can shine a light on hidden corners within ourselves, and that is a miraculous thing indeed.
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“If perfection only exists in the virtual world, would you love the real me?”
The virtual world figures heavily into the music videos for Revelation. One significant example is how Gloria is a virtual character created in the online world. But G.E.M. didn’t create the story to explore the relationship between the virtual world and the real world only.
“When we’re not satisfied with our natural face, we’ll apply makeup before we go out and socialize. Is that not also a distortion of reality, even though we’re not in the virtual world? In fact, I want to discuss whether people truly know the definition of love: When you approach love with compassion in your heart, it is all-encompassing.”
In her career, G.E.M. is constantly faced with the collision between virtual perfection and her real self. When asked if she expects any awards for this album (her previous album City Zoo won the Golden Melody Award for album of the year in 2020), she reiterates the core concept of the album: “If perfection only exists in the virtual world, would you love the real me?”
“Can you still accept who you really are when others view you through a distorted lens? I wanted to fight against such prejudices.” She states, “I always consciously remind myself not to forget why I started to make this album. For me, it’s a daily routine, like taking a shower: Will you drift with the current when the public thinks that clicks, awards and word of mouth are of paramount importance? Can you stay true to your original self? Why did you start making an album in the first place? Why did you choose to be a singer? Why did you ever try so hard? In this day and age, I know it’s incredibly difficult to remain true to my original aspirations, so I remind myself of it every day.”
Broadly speaking, G.E.M. believes that what we call flaws are a natural part of our existence, and there is nothing inherently inferior about them until we view them in a negative light. “I hope to express my point of view through my music. I don’t want people to spend too much energy on the virtual world and all its superficiality. I think the thing I most want to explore is whether you can love yourself and others as they truly are.”
Despite suffering periods of depression and anxiety, G.E.M. has forged her own path and accomplished what she set out to do: She did become a singer, and she has held a concert at the Hong Kong Coliseum, both remarkable achievements. G.E.M. no longer defines her life solely through her music, and thanks to her reflections on love and reality, she has emerged from the other end both enlightened and empowered. Imbued with a new sense of purpose, she has begun to create, sing and express, spreading the light that shines in her mind for all to see.
